Oh, as I was a goin' down the road,
With a tired team and a heavy load,
I cracked my whip and leader sprung,
I says good-day to the wagon tongue.
Turkey in the straw, turkey in the hay, [Repeat.]
Roll 'em up and twist 'em up a high tuckahaw,
And play a little tune called 'Turkey in the Straw.'
Oh, I jumped in the seat, and I gave a little yell,
The horses ran away, broke the wagon all to hell,
Sugar in the gourd and honey in the horn,
I never been so happy since the day I was born.
Oh, I went out to milk, and I didn't know how,
I milked the goat instead of the cow.
A monkey sittin' on a pile of straw,
A-winkin' his eyes at his mother-in-law.
Well, I met Mr. Catfish comin' down stream,
Says Mr. Catfish, "What do you mean?"
I caught Mr. Catfish by the snout,
And I turned Mr. Catfish wrong side out.
Well, I came to a river and I couldn't get across,
So I paid five dollars for a blind old hoss;
He wouldn't go ahead, and he wouldn't stand still,
So we went up and down like an old saw mill.
As I came down the new cut road,
I met Mr. Bullfrog, I met Miss Toad,
And every time Miss Toad would sing,
Old Bullfrog cut a pigeon wing.
Oh, I had an old hen and she had a wooden leg,
She was the best darn hen that ever laid an egg;
She laid more eggs than any hen on the farm,
And a little competition didn't do her any harm.
Well, if frogs had wings and snakes had hair
And automobiles went flying through the air;
Well, if watermelons grew on a huckleberry vine,
We'd all have winter in the summertime.