The Land Shark
Posted On: 2021-12-30

The scene is a living room with a radio playing. A Scout is changing stations. There is an announcement, read from off stage: "We interrupt this station to bring you an important news bulletin. A criminal known as the Land Shark has been seen on the streets of this town! He knocks on the doors of suspecting people, disguises his voice, and upon entrance, devours them leaving no traces. If the Land Shark shows up at your door, do not open it, and call the police immediately. We now return you to our regularly scheduled broadcast."

Scout, turning off radio: "I hope that Land Shark doesn't show up here."

Three loud knocks are heard. "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Pizza delivery"

Scout: "Oh, great! Come on in!" He reaches offstage to open the door. Hands reach out and pull him off with a loud growl. Curtain closes.

Curtain opens on another Scout: "I've heard so many rumors about that Land Shark. I'm curious." (Three loud knocks.) "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Luke Paterson from Metropolitan Life."

Scout: "What do you want?"

Offstage: "I need to review your policy. Your never know when something might happen!"

Scout: "Come in." Opens door. Loud growl. Grabbed and pulled offstage. Curtain closes.

Curtain opens on an older Scout. He hears three knocks. "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Pharmacy delivery."

Scout: "I didn't order any medicine."

Offstage: "Candygram."

Scout: "From whom?"

Offstage: "Plumber."

Scout: "My pipes are fine! Say, I know who this is. It's that nasty Land Shark!"

Offstage, in a small voice: "I'm only a guppy, sir."

Scout: "Oh, all right. Come in, then." Opens the door and is pulled offstage. More growls. Curtain closes.

Curtain opens on an old, sharp Scout. He hears three knocks. "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Boy Scout Troop 144. Would you like to buy some fertilizer, sir?"

Scout, looks at the audience and smiles knowingly: "Just a minute." He gets a large stick and prepares to hit the Shark. "Come in."

He swings the stick offstage. There is a loud thump. A very young Scout in full uniform stumbles onto the stage and dramatically falls, face first.