New Saw
Posted On: 2021-12-25

Need: 3 scouts (1 as announcer).

Announcer: This scene takes place in a hardware store in a small north woods lumber town.

Lumberjack: (Enters) My old crosscut saw is worn out, and I need something that will let me cut more wood, or I'm going to go broke!

Owner: Yes, sir! For only one hundred bucks you can be the proud owner of this chain saw. I guarantee that it will cut twice as much wood in a day as your own crosscut.

Lumberjack: (Handing over money) O.K. great! (Exits)

Announcer: The next day.

Lumberjack: (Enters tiredly) There's something wrong with this saw. I worked very hard yesterday, and only cut half as much wood.

Owner: Well, sir, I have a lot of faith in this product. Here, I'll put a new chain on it and you give it another try.

Lumberjack: O.K., but if it doesn't do any better, I'll be back! (Exits)

Announcer: The next day.

Lumberjack: (Enters exhausted) This darned saw is no good. I worked even harder, and still, it won't cut half the wood of my old saw! I want my money back!

Owner: Yes, sir! Just let me check it out here. (Pulls starter rope

Announcer: (Makes sound effects of saw running.)

Lumberjack: Oh, my gosh! What on earth is all that noise?