Peanuts #2
Posted On: 2021-08-26

Cast: policeman; three boys; police chief. (Policeman hustles scuffed-looking boy up to boy sitting at the table marked CHIEF.)

Policeman: Here's a bunch of trouble-makers for you, sir.

Chief: O.K. Constable. I'll deal with this. (dismisses officer, turns sternly to Boy 1.) Well, now. Why are you here?

Boy 1: (embarrassed) I threw peanuts into the lake. (Chief looks puzzled)

Chief:(sternly to Boy 2 ) Any why, then, were you brought in??

Boy 2: (defensively) I threw peanuts into the lake. (Chief scowls angrily)

Chief: (Bellows at Boy 3) And you! What have you got to say for yourself?

Boy 3: I'm Peanuts, Sir! (All exit)

Version 2:

Cast: Judge, Bailiff, 3 (or more) Scruffy Guys, Peanuts (person)
Setting: Courthouse

Judge: Order in the court! Order in the court! Bring in the first case!

Bailiff brings in a scruffy guy.

Judge: What's your problem?

#1: Duh, I like to throw Peanuts against walls! Hic!

Judge: 30 days psychiatric treatment! Next!

Bailiff brings in two more such characters, one likes to throw Peanuts out the window, into a lake, likes to hit Peanuts with a hammer, and so on. Judge responds the same way and becomes increasingly bored, saying "Oh, not another," "Why do they send me all the loonies," and so on. Finally, the bailiff brings in the last, really scruffy, bloodied, shirt torn, no shoes, so on.

Judge: What's your problem? (Sigh….)

Peanuts: I'm Peanuts! (Passes out.)

Version 3:

Cast: Narrator, 3 Scruffy guys, Curious Person, Peanuts
Setting: Building Roof
The narrator explains that these four guys are on the top of a building and looking over the edge.

Curious person: What are you guys looking at?

#1: I threw Peanuts over the edge of the building.

#2: I threw Peanuts over the edge of the building.

#3: I threw Peanuts over the edge of the building.

"Peanuts" comes crawling up to the top of the building.

Curious person: Who are you?

Peanuts: I'm Peanuts! (Passes out.)