Some Are, Some Aren't

Props: A broom

Announcer: The scene of this skit is in a store, where a rather dense boy is visiting his uncle, the store owner. [enter uncle, with a broom, begins to sweep store, then nephew enters]

Uncle: Well, John, you came at just the right time. Do you think you could keep the store for me for a while? [Uncle sets broom down]

Nephew: Ah, Ah, maybe.

Uncle: It won't be hard. If anyone comes in and asks how much these oranges are, you say "Two for a nickel, four for a dime." Can you do that?

Nephew: Ah, Ah, two for a nickel, four for a dime.

Uncle: That's right. Now if they say, "Are they sweet?" You say, "Some are, some aren't." Can you do that?

Nephew: Ah, some are, some aren't.

Uncle: That's right. And if they say, "I guess I won't buy any today", you say, "If you don't somebody will." Can you say that?

Nephew: Ah, if you don't, somebody will.

Uncle: That's good. Now do a lot of business while I'm gone and don't take any wooden nickels. [Uncle exits, boy mumbles to himself for a moment]

Tough Boy: [enters] Hey kid, which way do I go to find the pool hall?

Nephew: Ah, two for a nickel, four for a dime.

Tough Boy: What's the matter with you. Is your whole family crazy?

Nephew: Ah., some are, some aren't.

Tough Boy: [Angrily] Look here, are you trying to make a monkey out of me? I'll knock your head off!

Nephew: Ah, if you don't, somebody will. [Tough Boy grabs a broom and chases Nephew, both exiting]