Reggie and the Colonel
Posted On: 2022-05-04
Characters: Reggie, big, dumb, Bermudas, high socks, safari hat, glasses, down on nose, mustache, carries a gun in front of him. Colonel: short, limp, monocle, no gun, just small knapsack, has a cane.
Scene: Walking in place through darkest Africa, speaking pronounced English accent.
Colonel: (excited, jumping and pointing with cane) Reggie, look… Did you see it, Reggie ??????
Reggie: See what??! No, no, where, where ??
Colonel: Oh, Reggie, It was a beautiful condor, 8-foot wingspan, beautiful colors.
Reggie: No. I didn't see it.
Colonel: Wish You'd pay closer attention. (They continue walking).
Colonel: Did you see it, Reggie?
Reggie: No, what?
Colonel: A spotted Zebra…Wish you'd pay closer attention.
Colonel: (later) Did you see it, Reggie?? Did you see it?
Reggie: No I missed it … what was it?
Colonel: An ooh-aah bird.
Reggie: Ooh-aah bird. What's a ooh aah bird??
Colonel: An ooh-aah bird is a 2-pound bird that lays a 3-pound egg, like this: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh-aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (face lights up). (continue walking).
Reggie: Whispers to the audience: Next time I'll say yes - pretend as I saw it. I'll fool him.
Colonel: Reggie, Reggie did you see it! (excited)
Reggie: I saw it, I saw it!
Colonel: Then why in heaven's name did you step in it? !!!