All In a Days Work
Posted On: 2010-02-21
Props: A sign reading: "Undertaker, Justice of the Peace, Furniture, Fresh Eggs", some overalls, straw hats, bandannas.
Announcer: Here we see old Clem Smithers sittin' in front of his country store and funeral parlour.
Josh: [strolling in, thumbs in suspenders] Good Morning Mr. Smithers. I'm Josh Martin.
Clem: Howdy bub, call me Clem.
Josh: So, you're an undertaker?
Josh: Lived here all your life?
Clem: Not yet I ain't.
Josh: Do people die here often?
Clem: Nope …. Only once, Need an undertaker?
Josh: Oh, no. They tell me you sell cement here.
Josh: I need two bags.
Clem: What kind?
Josh: Don't know.. St. Marys, I guess,
Clem: Good as it comes... what you gonna use it fer?
Josh: Some new steps out by my cement pond.
Clem: Yep, yep ... How many steps?
Josh: Oh, 'bout six.
Clem: How wide?
Josh: 'bout four feet.
Clem: How high each step?
Josh: Well, let's see now [counts on fingers, then takes shoe off and counts on bare toes] Oh, 'bout seven.
Clem: How deep ya goin'?
Josh: How come you gotta know that?
Clem: 'round here we get frost so ya gotta go 'bout two feet deep [pause] Yep you'll need six, maybe seven bags.
Josh: Okay, I'll get the horse and wagon. You throw in seven bags.
Josh: Why not?
Clem: Ain't got no cement. Ain't had none for six months!