Date: Tue, 14 Nov 1995 22:03:10 EST
From: Robert Collins <Robert_Collins_at_Strm__Dallas1@STREAM.COM>
Subject: I Would Rather Be ......
Song: 'I Would Rather Be'
Characters form into a line across the stage area in order of appearance, character 1 on one end, and the last character on the other end of the line. Each person steps forward 1 big step as he does his character, and then steps back into line when done.
Chorus I: (Everyone)
If I weren't a cubscout ______
there's nothing I'd rather be.
If I weren't a cubscout
1st person: (Steps forward) A ________ I would be.
Chorus II: (Everyone)
And as you pass him by
you'll always hear him cry...."
1st person: (Does line and actions for character TWICE)
Chorus I: (Everyone)
2nd person: (Steps forward) A ________ I would be.
Chorus II: (Everyone)
2nd person: (Does line and actions for character TWICE)
1st and 2nd person: (Do lines and actions for characters ONCE)
Chorus I: (Everyone)
3rd person: (Steps forward)A ________ I would be.
Chorus II: (Everyone)
3rd person: (Does line and actions for character TWICE)
3rd and 2nd person: (Do lines and actions for characters ONCE)
1st, 2nd and 3rd person: (Do lines and actions for characters ONCE) etc, until last character has been presented...
Chorus: (Everyone)If I weren't a Cubscout ______there's nothing I'd rather be.
If I weren't a Cubscout ______Why, there's NOTHING I'd rather be!!!
Characters and lines:
Robin Hood - Rob from the Rich, Give to Poor, Come on Little John, let's get some more.
King's Cook - Blackbirds, Pig Fat, Stir it in big vat
King's Torturer - Pull the lever, turn the wheel, that'll teach you not to steal
King of England - Blackbirds! Blackbirds! you know I hate this pie
King's Executioner - Drum rolls, heads roll, how I love my job
Court Jester - Please laugh, don't cry, I don't wanta die.
Merlin - Backbirds, Pig Fat, Sir it in a big vat.
Knight - bang, clink, clang, how am I supposed to fight in this thang
Queen of England - Pussy cat, Pussy cat, get out from under my chair
Engineer: Push the button, push the button, kick the darn machine.
Park Ranger: Hark, A lark, flying in the park!
Carpenter: two, by four, nail it to the floor.
Fireman: Jumpy lady, Jump! OOOOOOOO Splat!!
Ice Cream Man: Tutti Frutti, nice ice cream
WOW!! I'd thought that I'd NEVER see this again anywhere!!!
I loved it the first time I saw it performed by a patrol at a camporee, and during our campfire program during Wood Badge, my patrol performed it.
I couldn't remember all of the words, so when Robert wrote the "King Arthur" version here for us, the memories came rushing back!
The ones I remember were:
Plumber: "Plunge It! [makes plunging motion with both hands] Flush It![makes flushing motion with right hand] Look out below![bends over forward as in looking down drain]" (repeat as many times as place in line)
Electrician: "Positive! [places right hand with fist outward as in holding an electrical line] Negative! [places left hand with fist outward as in holding an electrical line] Shhhhhh [moves both fists to touch each other as in making an coonection] BOOM![moves both fists outward]" (repeat as many times as place in line)
It was really funny, because in practicing for the skit, several times our coordination failed and we ended up hitting each other. We were well-bruised before the actual presentation, which heightened our desire to "get it right" or else we would be hurting worse than we felt!! *laughter*
Hippie: Hey Man! Cool Man! Far out! Wow!
Baker: Donuts! Eclairs (sp?)! Buy My Buns!
Doctor: Needle! Thread! Stick 'em in the head!
Lifeguard: Mouth to Mouth Resucitat (sp???). What a way to get a date.
Birdwatcher: [pointing to sky] Hark. A lark. Flying through the park. [Move hand to hit forehead] SPLAT!!
Lawyer: Honest. I swear. My client wasn't there.
Garbage collector: [shovelling motion] Pile that garbage. Pile that garbage. Pile it to the sky.
Camp cook: [shovelling motion] Pile that garbage. Pile that garbage. Pile it to the sky.
Skit: I'm Proud to be a Boy Scout.
Chorus sung by all participants.
I'm proud to be a Boy Scout, as you can plainly see. For if I weren't a
Boy Scout a _____________ I would be, and as you pass me by, you would hear me cry....
Individual characters:
1. Dolly: Mommy, Daddy, I love you. (blows a kiss)
2. Undertaker: 6 x 4, nail them to the floor.
3. Pregnant Girl: (basketball under dress) Honest, I swear, a chaparone was there.
4. Ice Cream Maker (dressed in white) Oooshy Gooshy, Oooshy, Gooshy, Good Ice Cream. (Stirring large pot)
5. Farmer: There's a cow, and there's a cow, (points to bottom of boot) and there's a cow, yuck!
6. Hippie: Hey Man! Cool Man! Far out! Wow!
7. Plumber: Plung it! Flush it! Look out below!
Airline Steward(ess): "here's your coffee. Here's your tea. Here's your paper bag--Urrrrppp!"
I believe this skit is found in "Creative Campfires," on sale at your local scout distributor. Unfortunately, at the closing campfire for webelos summer camp at Camp Marriott this past August, all the packs were asked to do a skit at campfire. And wouldn't you know it--this skit or a variant was performed about six times. So, ever since then I have managed to restrain my enthusiasm for this one...although it is a cute skit.
Requires props... (in some cases)
Electrician: "Check the bulb, flip the switch. z-z-z-z-z-z-z-zt" [shakes violently, arms and legs spread]
Lifeguard: "Here's my oil! Here's my can! Watch out ladies, I'm your man!" [holds out suntan oil in one hand, spritz bottle in other]
Ice Cream Maker: "Ushy-gushy! Ushy-gushy! Good Ice Cream!" [holds large stick (scout stave) in stirring motion, then rubs tummy]