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ROFL Scout humor

By:    Posted On: 2018-05-12


Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?

Dill with it.

What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

That hit the spot!

Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

How does a vampire start a letter?

Tomb it may concern…

What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 detour.

How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

You rocket!

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7, 8, 9

What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?


When does a joke become a “dad” joke?

When the punchline is a parent.

How do you make a lemon drop?

Just let it fall.


How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

By the footprints in the butter!

What is the difference between elephants and grapes?

Grapes are purple.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!


What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean meat!

What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork chop!

Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

What animal needs to wear a wig?

A bald eagle!

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk!

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs!

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?


What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!

Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!



Why did the math book look so sad?

Because it had so many problems!

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!

If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring?



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