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The Strange Trees



A cute play on French accents & associated puns -- a real groaner. Some sort of French accent greatly adds to the credibility of the skit. By the way, what does the C H on the Canadians' shirts mean? Center Hice! Cast: General Montcalm, Sergeant-Major, Captain, Sergeant, Private Setting: French base in Quebec City during Montcalm's and Wolfe's historical confrontation General Montcalm, wanting to know what General Wolfe was up to and what his position was, decided to send out some reconnaissance. General Montcalm: (To Sergeant-Major) Send out a Scout to see what General Wolfe's troops are p to! Sergeant Major: (To Private) Find out what General Wolfe's troops are up to! Private goes off, then a moment later comes limping back, injured, just barely clinging on to his life. Sergeant Major: (To Private) What's wrong? Did you find anything about Wolfe's troops? Private: (In raspy, dying voice) Bacon Tree! (And he dies.) Sergeant Major: Inexperienced fool! (To Sergeant) Find out what General Wolfe's troops are up to! Captain goes off, then a moment later comes limping back, injured, just barely clinging on to his life. Sergeant Major: (To Sergeant) What's wrong? What's Wolfe's position? Sergeant: (In raspy, dying voice) Bacon Tree! (And he dies.) Sergeant Major: He obviously wasn't inconspicuous enough! (To Captain) Find out what General Wolfe's troops are up to! Sergeant goes off, then a moment later comes limping back, injured, just barely clinging on to his life. Sergeant Major: (To Captain) What's wrong? What's Wolfe doing? Captain: (In raspy, dying voice) Bacon Tree! (And he dies.) Sergeant Major: What's wrong with you people? I guess I'll have to find out what General Wolfe's troops are up to myself! Sergeant Major goes off, then a moment later comes limping back, injured, just barely clinging on to his life. General Montcalm: (To Sergeant Major) What's wrong? What are General Wolfe's troops up to? Sergeant Major: (In raspy, dying voice) Bacon Tree! (And he dies.) General Montcalm: What's this Bacon tree? I guess I'll have to find out what General Wolfe's troops are up to myself! General Montcalm goes off, then a moment later comes limping back, injured, just barely clinging on to his life. General Montcalm: (In a raspy, dying voice) Those fools! That was no Bacon Tree! That was a Hambush! (And he dies.)


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