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Sidewalk Climbing

Cast: 1 Sidewalk Climber. 2 - 3 Passers-by and 2 offstage personnel Also needed: "Tools" - Climbing tools or even two tent stakes will work. Long rope The skit begins with the "sidewalk climber" lying on his stomach on the floor. (The plastic garbage bag is used if needed to prevent splinters) The rope is tied around the climber's waist (like a safety line) and leads offstage (to the offstage personnel.) In the climber's hands are "climbing tools" which can be anything that a climber would use to climb rocks, or even sticks, it really doesn't matter too much. The climber simulates climbing up a rock formation by getting a good hold with his tool and pulling up (sliding across the floor), then getting a good hold with the other tool, etc.... 1st Passer-by: What in the world do you think you're doing here? Climber: "Why, I'm sidewalk climbing! It's a really dangerous hobby. It takes a lot of strength and concentration. One mistake and it's all over!" (Continues climbing) 1st Passer-by: "You're crazy!" (Passer-by walks off.) Climber: Continues to make the climbing action across the floor. 2nd P-by: "Hey mister/lady, what ARE you doing there?" Climber: "I'm sidewalk climbing! Not everybody can do this sport. It takes a great deal of training and strength. One slip and it's all over!" 2nd P-by: "What a nut!" (The passer-by takes one of the tools and walks off the climber now has to try to climb with only one tool - makes it look a lot harder.) Climber: "Oh no! Thank goodness I still have THIS tool, I think I can still make it!" (Continues "climbing.") 3rd P-by: "Wow, look at this weirdo! Just what is it you think you're doing?" Climber: "I'm SIDEWALK CLIMBING!" (Climber must grunt out the words due to the extra effort it takes to climb with only one tool.) "This is a really dangerous sport and I lost one of my climbing tools. All it takes is one wrong move and I'm in real trouble!" 3rd P-by: "This is really dumb! You're just lying on the sidewalk! There's nothing dangerous about that. Nothing will happen if you slip. Here..... I'll PROVE it to you!" (Passer-by takes the last tool out of the climber's hand.) Climber: "Oh No!" (and tries to hang on to the tool) (Just as the tool is taken out of the climber's hand, the offstage personnel pull on the rope and pull the climber out of sight, as the climber yells "Ahhhhhhhhhh.... look what you've done now!") 3rd P-by: Looks at audience with a sheepish look on his/her face, shrugs shoulders, and quietly walks off the stage.

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