Rise, Walk, and Kill, Igor

Cast: Dr. Mad, Igor, Bank Manager, Cable Company, Electrician Setting: Dr. Mad's Laboratory Dr. Mad: (Talking to the crowd, with one of those sinister, horror movie voices.) I just love my new invention, Igor. He is a robot and is such a good servant. I would just love to demonstrate him to you. (Someone knocks on the door.) Ah! Here's my chance. Come in! Manager: Hello, Sir. I've come today to talk to you about your banking. It seems your account is overdrawn by twenty million dollars. Dr. Mad: Oh, please, come in. I would love to discuss this over coffee. But first, may I show you my newest invention? This is Igor. You see, whenever I say, Rise, Igor, he rises (Igor rises.) And if I say, Walk, Igor, he walks (Igor walks toward the manager.) And should I say, Kill, Igor, he kills (Igor strangles manager, then lies down on his table.) This is so neat what I've invented. (Someone knocks on the door.) Oh, someone else is at the door. Coming! Cableman: Hello, Sir. I've come today to disconnect the cable because you haven't paid your cable bills in 6 months. Dr. Mad: Oh, please, come in. I would love to discuss this over coffee. But first, may I show you my newest invention? This is Igor. You see, whenever I say, Rise, Igor, he rises (Igor rises.) And if I say, Walk, Igor, he walks (Igor walks toward cableman.) And should I say, Kill, Igor, he kills (Igor strangles cableman, then lies down on his table.) I say, what an invention. (Someone knocks on the door.) Oh, someone else is at the door. Coming! Electrician: Hello, Sir. I've come today to talk about your power consumption and how to reduce it. It seems that you are often short-circuiting the system. Dr. Mad: Oh, please, come in. I would love to discuss this over coffee. But first, may I show you my newest invention? This is Igor. You see, whenever I say, Rise, Igor, he rises (Igor rises.) And if I say, Walk, Igor, he walks (Igor walks toward the electrician.) And should I say, Kill, Igor, he kills (Igor strangles electrician then lies down on his table.) Without a doubt, a great invention. (To the audience again.) I am so impressed with myself and my invention. You see, all I have to do is say, Rise, Igor and he gets up (Igor Rises.) Then I just say, Walk, Igor and he walks (Igor walks to Dr. Mad.) And just by saying, Kill, Igor, I solve many problems! (Igor strangles Dr. Mad.) AHHHHHHHH!

 

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