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Rise, Walk, and Kill, Igor



Cast: Dr. Mad, Igor, Bank Manager, Cable Company, Electrician Setting: Dr. Mad's Laboratory Dr. Mad: (Talking to crowd, with one of those sinister, horror movies voices.) I just love my new invention, Igor. He is a robot and is such a good servant. I would just love to demonstrate him to you. (Someone knocks on the door.) Ah! Here's my chance. Come in! Manager: Hello, Sir. I've come today to talk to you about your banking. It seems your account is overdrawn by twenty million dollars. Dr. Mad: Oh, please, come in. I would love to discuss this over coffee. But first, may I show you my newest invention? This is Igor. You see, whenever I say, Rise, Igor, he rises (Igor rises.) And if I say, Walk, Igor, he walks (Igor walks toward manager.) And should I say, Kill, Igor, he kills (Igor strangles manager, then lies down on his table.) This is so neat what I've invented. (Someone knocks on door.) Oh, someone else is at the door. Coming! Cableman: Hello, Sir. I've come today to disconnect the cable, because you haven't paid you cable bills in 6 months. Dr. Mad: Oh, please, come in. I would love to discuss this over coffee. But first, may I show you my newest invention? This is Igor. You see, whenever I say, Rise, Igor, he rises (Igor rises.) And if I say, Walk, Igor, he walks (Igor walks toward cableman.) And should I say, Kill, Igor, he kills (Igor strangles cableman, then lies down on his table.) I say, what an invention. (Someone knocks on door.) Oh, someone else is at the door. Coming! Electrician: Hello, Sir. I've come today to talk about your power consumption and how to reduce it. I seems that you are often short-circuiting the system. Dr. Mad: Oh, please, come in. I would love to discuss this over coffee. But first, may I show you my newest invention? This is Igor. You see, whenever I say, Rise, Igor, he rises (Igor rises.) And if I say, Walk, Igor, he walks (Igor walks toward electrician.) And should I say, Kill, Igor, he kills (Igor strangles electrician then lies down on his table.) Without a doubt, a great invention. (To audience again.) I am so impressed with myself and my invention. You see, all I have to do is say, Rise, Igor and he gets up (Igor Rises.) Then I just say, Walk, Igor and he walks (Igor walks to Dr. Mad.) And just by saying, Kill, Igor, I solve many problems! (Igor strangles Dr. Mad.) AHHHHHHHH!


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