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Igor



No props are needed, although the actors can make up bits of costumes that emphasize their roles.

The evil professor can wear a long white lab coat. Some rehearsal is wise, to get the most out of each performance.

A large Scout lies stiffly in the middle of the stage. The Professor enters and introduces himself, giving a very Russian-sounding name. He boasts about his great abilities and how he will prove that he is the greatest scientist in the world. He has created a monster named Igor, who can obey three different commands! With these commands, the Professor will control the world.

The Professor is interrupted by a loud knock on the door (from off-stage). A Scout enters, trying to sell a subscription to home delivery of the local newspaper. The Professor refuses, but the Scout persists. The Professor turns to the audience and says, "Now you will see what I can do with my monster!"

He turns and points to Igor and says, "Igor! Stand!" Igor slowly stands up. The Professor says, "Igor!

Walk!" Igor stiffly walks toward the Scout.

He says, "Igor! Kill!" Igor reaches out and strangles the Scout, who dies with a great show of anguish. "Ha! Ha!" says the Professor, "Now you see what I have achieved! Now you know that I can control the world with Igor and my three commands!" Igor slowly goes back and lies down.

The scene is repeated at least twice more, with a Girl Scout selling cookies, a religious zealot, a vote-seeking politician, or a door-to-door salesman. Each time, the Professor boasts, he is interrupted by a persistent salesman, and he uses the three commands. Each salesman is killed off.

The Professor finally comes to the front of the stage, with Igor lying among the bodies behind him. He boasts again about his three commands, and how he will use them to control the world. All he has to do is say, "Igor! Stand!" Igor stands.

"Igor! Walk!" Igor walks toward the Professor, who does not notice him.

"Igor! Kill!" Igor kills the Professor, turns, and lies back down.


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