Young folks, old folks, everybody come,
Join our happy Sunday School, and have a lot of fun,
Please check your chewing gum and raisins at the door,
And you'll hear some Bible stories that you've never heard before.
Shadrak, Meshak, and Abednigo
Wouldn't obey the king, so they had to go.
Put 'em in a furnace to burn 'em up like chaff,
But their asbestos B.V.D.s gave the king a laugh.
The world was made in six days and finished on the seventh,
According to the contract it should have been the eleventh;
But the union called a strike and workers wouldn't work.
So the only thing that they could do was fill it up with dirt.
Adam was the first man that ever was invented,
He lived all his life and never was contented;
He was made of clay in the days gone by,
And hung on a fence in the sun to dry.
Adam was a gardener and Eve was his spouse,
They got the sack for stealing fruit and took to keeping house.
They lived a very quiet life and peaceful in the main,
'Til Eve had a baby and they started raising Cain.
Noah was a mariner who sailed around the sea
With half a dozen relatives and a big menagerie.
He failed the first season when it rained for forty days,
For in that kind of weather no circus ever pays.
Joseph was a shepherd, too, he kept his father's goats,
His father used to dress him in the very loudest coats.
His brothers they got jealous and threw him in a well,
Joseph went to heaven and others went to hell.
Josua played the trumpet, so runs the ancient rhyme.
He taught the Israelites to play in syncopated time,
But when they played in Jericho, their music raised a frown,
So he set the boys a'swinging, and the walls come tumbling down.
Pharaoh had a daughter, she had a winsome smile,
She found the infant Moses a-floating in the Nile.
She took him to her father, said "I've found him on the shore."
Pharaoh winked his eye and said "I've heard that tale before."
Jonah was an landsman, so runs the Bible tale;
He took a steerage passage on a transatlantic whale;
Jonah in the belly of the whale felt quite compressed,
So he pushed a little button and the whale did the rest.
Samson was a husky guy as everyone should know,
He used to lift five-hundred pounds as strongman on the show,
One week the bill was rotten and the actors had a souse,
But the strongman act of Samson's, still brought down the house.
David was a shepherd boy, a plucky little cuss;
Along came Goliath a-looking for a fuss;
David took a slinky and socked him on the crust,
Goliath reeled a couple a times and then he bit the dust.
God made Satan, Satan made sin,
God made a hot place to keep Satan in,
Satan didn't like it so he said he wouldn't stay,
He's been acting like the devil ever since that day.
Daniel was a prophet, he wouldn't obey the king,
The king said to Daniel, "This is a naughty thing."
Put him in a lion's den with lions down beneath,
But Daniel was an artist so he drew the lions' teeth.
Salomi was a dancer and she danced before the king,
She wiggled and she waggled and she shook most everything.
The king tells Salomi, "We'll have no scandal here!"
"The hell we won't!" Salomi said, and she kicked the chandelier.