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You Need a Tie, Sir

  • Person, 3 Tie Salesmen, Maitre d'
  • Setting: Desert

Person: (Gasping) Water! I need water!

#1: Sir! Would you like to buy a tie? This one would look so good on you!

Person: I want water, not a tie!

#2: (After a pause) Sir! We're having a tie sale. Would you like to buy a nice tie for a great price?

Person: I'm dying of thirst, and you want to sell me a tie?

#3: (After a pause) Sir! I have these fine silk ties at reasonable prices. Would you care to look at my stock?

Person: Sheesh! What kind of people sell ties in the middle of the desert to thirsty people? (After a pause; looks to the distance) An oasis! I'm saved! (Scrambles over.) Sir! Please! I would like to buy a glass of water!

Maitre d': I'm sorry Sir, but you can't enter this restaurant without a tie.

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